Torn Scars
by Keysuna
Summary: Buffy is sent to a psychologist in the summer after she is brought back.


A/N Ever since the season seven episode where Buffy is having that psyche talk with Holden (Conversations with Dead People), I thought it would be interesting if the Slayer was to go to a real physiologist . Yeah, I know I have no life I this is what I'm thinking about in my spare time. Set during the summer after season six.  
  
Buffy fidgeted nervously on the hard seat of the waiting room. She gave a glance to her watch, it was 3:10.  
  
Great, she thought. If I'm not called in soon I'll be late for the movie. The Slayer directed her attention toward her surroundings. The walls were painted a nauseating white that gave a bland taste to the already tacky furnishings. She heard someone step down the hall, and turned her head toward it before anyone else in the room.  
  
"Summers, Buffy?" The receptionist asked, nodding and smiling as Buffy stood. Hitching her purse, she followed the women into a room, passing the previous patient on her way in. He glanced at her, he seemed tired and angry, and then directed his eyes back to the ground. If that was to be an indication of how the session would go, Buffy hoped that being on the Hellmouth would lend some sort of demonic activity to disrupt it. As the entered the room, the receptionist walked away.  
  
A young women with her thick black hair pulled back in a bun was sitting behind a large desk, she was examining a collection of papers as Buffy stepped in.  
  
"Hello?" The Slayer said, hand going to rub the back of her neck as the women looked up.  
  
She put the papers down and smiled. "Buffy isn't it?"  
  
Buffy nodded. "Yeah."  
  
"I'm Janice, please, take a seat." The psychologist motioned toward the chair opposite the desk. Buffy flashed a smile, and sat down, sliding her purse over the back of it.  
  
"So." Janice said, leaning forward and resting her elbows on the desk. "Why are you here?"  
  
The chair was more comfortable Buffy noticed. "My boss, at the Doublemeat Palace, she thinks I need mental help." The Slayer noticed the reaction on the physiologists face. "That probably wasn't the best way to put it."  
  
"Oh, no it's fine." Janice laughed. "Why don't we start by you telling me about your day?"  
  
Buffy thought a moment. "Not much happened. Woke up, made breakfast, had a fight with Dawn about taking my sweater, made plans to go to the movies." She shrugged.  
  
"Dawn, she your sister?" The psychologist asked. "You look after you don't you?"  
  
Buffy nodded. "I became her legal guardian after my mom passed away."  
  
"Oh, I'm sorry."  
  
"No, it's OK." The Slayer forced a smile. "It was. . . hard, but things are OK now."  
  
Janice nodded. "How do you feel about life, in general?"  
  
She pondered the question. "Kind of like I've had the weight of the world on my shoulders since I was 16, but I'm strong enough to hold it now so it's no so bad." After saying it she wished she hadn't, but Janice smiled.  
  
"That's an interesting way to put it."  
  
Buffy shrugged. "You could say I have an interesting life."  
  
"Anything you want to tell me then, the balls in your court." Janice said. The Slayer thought a moment then shook her head.  
  
"OK then, how's your love life treating you?" Buffy cringed at the question.  
  
"Not well."  
  
"How so?" Janice seemed interested and the Slayer wished she would back off.  
  
Buffy sighed. "The last guy I was seeing, he left, I don't really blame him though. It wasn't like I took what we had really seriously, I. . . would abuse his love for me."  
  
"You want to expand?" The physiologist again pushed for a story the Slayer wasn't willing to tell.  
  
"It may take a while." She said finally.  
  
Janice stole a glance to the clock. "We've got fifty minutes, lets see how much you can get through."  
  
Buffy took in a breath and closed her eyes for a moment. She hadn't really heard the whole story herself, let alone tell it to anyone. Maybe it would be good for her, besides, it wasn't as if Janice would judge her. Then again, getting over the hurdle that Spike and Angel were vampires and Riley being apart of a government agency that caught demons would be a little hard to get over. Added to that she was the Slayer. "I had just moved here from LA." She started, opening her eyes.  
  
Janice nodded.  
  
"Starting a new school and all, it wasn't easy. In LA I had been really popular, and at Sunnydale High, I wasn't. My friend, Xander, had a crush on me. He asked me out to the dance and everything, but I wasn't interested." Buffy looked at Janice, who only smiled for her to go on. "I had my eye on somebody else, Angel, he. . . helped me with my job sometimes. We got together later that year, but none of my friends really approved of it." She sputtered it out.  
  
Janice opened her mouth to say something, and Buffy began to scrambled for the answer if she was to ask what her job had been. "Was he older?"  
  
"Yeah, it wasn't overly obvious, but yeah he was." The Slayer let out a small sigh of relief before continuing. "That next year, we slept together, and. . . he change."  
  
"Had it been your first time?" She asked, interested in the story that was being wove by her patient.  
  
Buffy gave a nervous nod. "I had loved him, I guess I still do love him, but after that night, he started to stalk me I guess you could say. He threatened me, and my friends and mom. . . he did some pretty bad things."  
  
"Did he hurt you?" Janice's face was worried, and the Slayer realized suddenly that she had to make her life as much rooted in the 'real world' as possible.  
  
"He did, but it was more emotional then physical, we had always fought before, so that wasn't the bad part." She felt the sentiment she had just explained well up, and fought them down. Even talking about Angel made her feel like she had lost a part of herself.  
  
"I killed him." Buffy said when she had herself under control. "I killed him and myself then. I thought he would never come back, that if I just never saw him again I would get over it, and things would be OK. But he did come back, and he was like the same guy I had fallen in love with in the first place."  
  
Janice again had a worried expression on her face. "After what had happened, you accepted him back?"  
  
"Yeah." Buffy said, as if realizing it herself. "I did."  
  
A/N Whoa, that sucked. It was fun to write, but I thought it would bring out more inner turmoil and self recognition in Buffy, oh well, my horrible writing ruins me once again. If anyone enjoyed reading it, please review or else I'm not going to continue. And oh yeah, if you want Buffy to talk about anything, Email me at Danhf704@aol.com and I'll include it. 


End file.
